Skiing with Spike — Thinking Out Loud

The famous single chair at Mad River Glen

Over the holiday break I found time to rest and recharge. I did what I love most to do. I skied with my kids, shoveled snow, read books, took some pictures and reconnected with my children and my extended family in the Burlington area. As I was thinking about what to talk about in chapel on this January morning I started with something that Spike said to me when we skied together this past Sunday. But before we get to that, I think it’s best that I tell you a story about Spike and me to set some context.

Spike is one of my very best friends. I’ve known him since 5th grade when he moved to Williston from Fishkill, NY. While it seems since we left high school that we have lived our lives in separate orbits, we do always seem to come into alignment from time to time, most often around skiing. In our high school days we used to go to youth group together on Sunday afternoons and had the task of bringing my siblings and a couple of my cousins in for choir practice before hand. He and I had a routine where we’d go to Upton’s to play some video games. Upton’s was an arcade on lower Church street, and in those days you had to buy tokens to play those classic games like Centipede, Asteroids or The Tempest. After exhausting a few dollars worth of tokens, we would go looking for things to climb, “going on a run”, we called it. There was a wall that we accessed near the corner of St Paul and Bank street that if you ran along a railing that separated a ramped loading dock you could make your way up and over it into a court yard. So we did what most do when they encounter a wall, we climbed over it. One evening in the late fall, we were heading “on a run” and Spike looked down into this dumpster that is below the loading dock and notices there are books in there. “Let’s check it out” he says. I followed him into the alley because Spike loved to read; me not so much. We were rummaging through this dumpster filled with books that had their covers ripped off and he was all excited about what was finding. Just then a couple of older kids walked by and shouted something like “What are you doing? Looking for food?” laugh and keep going. Spike always one for a smart comment yells something back like…”Yeah what’s it to you?”

They come running down into the loading dock area and yell “what the ____ did you say?” At the moment of crisis, I think Spike was literally in the dumpster while I’m getting ready to get the crap beat out of me cause we’re trapped and these two are really angry and a lot bigger! Just as they reach us Spike, scrambling out of the dumpster, holds a couple books up and says something that draws their attention to the books and we slip away. I don’t remember exactly what was said but it wasn’t the only time he got us into trouble and somehow got us out as well.

We skied at Mad River Glen on Sunday despite the cold and I knew we would have fun. We always do and this time was no different than all the other times we’ve skied together over the last 40 years. Skiing steep runs through trees and riding that fabled single chair lift up to Starks nest is something, that if you are a skier, you really need to do. We skied with his son Brendan, or at least we both tried to keep up with him and one run late in the day as we were bopping down the woods off Fall Line, I pulled up to Spike who was waiting, and we just started talking. I can’t remember how we got on the topic but it was about our kids and some memories of skiing all together at MRG one winter.

He said, “ I meant what I said, our kids are better skiers than we ever were at their age, but I think they are also better people than we were…”

I don’t know why Spike said it and I guess it really doesn’t matter as I believe it is true and it has stayed with me this week. I can see moments in my life where I’ve thought that about my children, and I know that many other parents would say the same thing. I also know that my children have made me a better person in turn. Spike’s comment got me to appreciate that a critical aspect of relationships and friendships is that they do make us better people. In this recognition this week I found a great deal of hope. At a time in our world where nothing seems to be uplifting, I was reminded of the power of friendship, of shared experience, of being in a moment with people that know you well enough to comment on your life and the lives of your children. Those moments are the ones that are truly worth the effort. Those are moments that have truly made my life fulfilling. Those are the moments that we as humans, as teachers and students, as coaches and players and as directors and actors can look for and look forward to in our lives together. My players, my students, my friends and my children have all made me a better person over the years and it is something to be truly thankful for.

Photo courtesy of Jeb Burroughs . www. Jebburroughs.com

There will be lots of change for me in the next 5 months as I move on to take the leadership of Lincoln Academy, but that is true for each and everyone one of you too. I don’t know how many more times I’ll get to ski with Spike this winter and I know that I’ll have to work hard to make it happen in the years to come as I move to Maine. But this morning as we all look to embrace the change that is coming I wanted to remind you of the power of friendship that you all share with people in this room. It is the fabric of a wonderful school community, the fabric that will be used as the foundation for the next group of seniors, teachers and leaders in the months and years to come. It is something to be cherished, supported and celebrated, it is our collective strength as a community and the “Spikes” that make it real for us deserve some recognition and our thanks.